So I googled “rats with hats” and
hello sailor
party rats!
Aww classy rat…wait a second…
GOOGLE YOU SIT ON A THRONE OF LIES
I want prints of these.
My housemate and I were looking for food and found this.
YES. THOSE ARE POTATOES THAT HAVE GROWN THROUGH THE BAG INTENT ON MASS DESTRUCTION.
The interpretive styles of my friend circa 2009. I think the Nutcracker Ballet would benefit greatly from this
This was done by my father, who has a masters degree in English.
Thanks Give. Thanks Give. THANKS GIVE.
My Dog is the biggest cockblock in the world.
My boyfriend was over today and every single time we started kissing on the couch, my dog would jump up onto our laps and starting licking our faces.
On the otherhand, maybe he was just trying to initiate a threesome…
Sucks to be you batman
Saw this on my walk home today. I don’t even know. Only in Kingston…
I messaged my parents asking for a picture of my dog and this is what they sent.
short legs
How do you find a vegan at a dinner party?
Don’t worry, they’ll let you know.
How do you find a meat-eater at a party? Don’t worry, they’ll be everywhere, BBQing dead animals and stuffing them in their mouths and saying ‘omg vegans are so preachy’
aaaaaand there you have it folks.
The scariest story ever.
So last year at university I ran into the “garbage can squirrel” as I like to call him. I was just walking along minding my own buisness when I decided to throw out my apple in a nearby garbage can. This was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made. Just as I was about to toss it in the can a squirrel JUMPED OUT AND LANDED ON MY SHOE. I proceeded to scream bloody murder as the squirrel attempted to take my beautiful white shoelace. I literally kicked my feet in the air and this squirrel simply held on with all it’s might tearing at my shoelace. It was only by throwing my apple at the squirrel and running away across the field that I was able to avoid certain death.
Today, almost a year from that horrific encounter I decided to walk by that ill fated garbage can. This time I came prepared. I stood a fair distance away and threw a rock at my worst nightmares lair and out came the monster itself. THAT’S RIGHT ITS STILL THERE. Still as big and gross and terrifying as ever. The rat with a busy tail jumped out of the can and just looked at me and I swear it remembered me and my precious shoelaces it had craved so much. I stuck my foot towards the squirrel and whispered “I’m wearing flip flops bitch.”The squirrel looked at my foot and then ran back into its lair. I am victorious. For now. This was but a mere battle victory in a now ongoing war between this squirrel and I. I will not be conquered. I will not lose. I will prevail.
John would make a kick-ass companion. Sherlock, not so much.
